Roy Scheider and Samuel L Jackson are both big stars.

So how will the Stars fare tonight?

Like this:



Or like this:

I got a video for ya:



It might be time to change up your game plans.

Also, that is a pretty impressive sandtrap.

(You like how I'm tenuously clinging to the golf thing?)

I don't know about you, but I'm proud of them.

Not so sure how much longer I can keep this up.

I kinda want to watch tomorrow night's Stars/Sharks game.

So, you guys seen this yet?

It' a year old, but what the hell.



The thing I love about this is that at one point, Ovechkin starts yelling at the guys on the next tee that he got a hole in one. What's beautiful about that is it isn't necessarily clear to them that Ovechkin is either a professional athlete, or from Russia.

To those dudes, this might just be a the most talented golfer with downs syndrome on the planet.

Hooray, golf!

Well, it's official. All the favored teams of the staff here at American Hockey Fan are now out of the running for the Stanley Cup. Most recently the Bruins, the Devils before them, and the Sabres who, not unlike Jack and Jen themselves, disappeared long ago. Even our surrogate favorite team the Washington Capitals have called it a year after a valiant 7-game effort against the Flyers.

Dammit, there's just no one left to root for.

So, after some soul searching (and some head-scratching) we've decided to unveil the exciting new format you see in the header above. So keep us bookmarked, America - don't forget to check in for our thoughts on the Players Championship, the U.S. Open, and the John Deere Classic, as well as Ritch's special series on whether this Tiger Woods kid is the real deal.

That's right, it's American Golf Fan all summer long...or at least until we break down and tune back in to the playoffs. Or, failing that, September, when we start our annual complaining about whether or not pre-season hockey is worth watching.

American Golf Fan - get into the swing!

Well the first round is over, and with it, my love affair with any of the remaining teams in contention for the Stanley Cup.

Thanks a lot Washington Capitals.

I mean, for Christ's sake, with the Bruins gone and the Cinderella Capitals season over, who in the hell am I supposed to root for now?

In the East, we have Montreal and Pittsburgh, two teams that I have been on record, over and over again, as hating. So the enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?

Well, sort of. I'm always happy to see the Habs and Pens lose, but there are some complications.

On the one hand, the Rangers are playing Pittsburgh, but they are captained by Jaromir Jagr, one of the chief architects of my hatred for the Pens to begin with. I can't get behind that guy winning another cup. I just can't. Plus, the other guys on that team that I could really root for, Drury and Shanahan, already have cups. And for my friends who are Ranger fans, 1994 isn't THAT far away. If you start to feel bad, pop this in the DVD player, and you'll buck right up. It's got 15 discs in it, for God's sake, that oughta get you through the summer. And I know, it'd be nice to see Lundquist win a cup, but not on Jagr's team. He's got some time.

On the other hand, you have Montreal playing Philly, and as fun as it will be to root against Montreal, can I really cheer on the thugs who ended the season of Patrice Bergeron?


In the West, which I'll admit I'm less familiar with, you have some options, but none of them great.

The Red Wings, Stars, and Avalanche have all had Stanley Cup wins in recent years, and while the Stars only have one cup, and I like Marty Turco, I just don't know that I can root for former Hab and habitual diver Mike Ribero, who I'm again on record as hoping he would get a testicle caught in a set of impact-tested accordian shutters.



Which leaves us with the Sharks.

Goddamnit, I like the Sharks. I like the way they play, I think their goaltender deserves the Vezina, I like watching Brian Campbell, it'd be nice to see Roenick get a cup after all these years, and I'm on record as saying that Patrick Marleau is both underrated and awesome.

It's just a Joe Thornton thing.

I like him.

I really do.

I think most Bruins fans wish the guy the best, but I'll tell ya, I'm not sure I'm ready to see another ex-Bruins captain lifting up the Stanley Cup. I mean, I'd feel good for the guy and everything, I'm just not sure I can do it. To see the guy who was the future of the Bruins lifting the cup over his head, I mean- I know, I know- I really like the guy, and on paper, go Joe.

But I'm just not sure my heart will follow my head.

Not when the Bruins haven't won a cup since the goddamned Nixon administration.

I don't know- is there a storyline out there I'm missing?

A feel good reason for me to root for one of these teams that I don't know about?

Lemme know, cause I'm all ears, and I'm told the Celtics are pretty good this year.

PLease, don't make me go there.

Cause I really don't know shit about Basketball.

I know.

I should be happy for these Bruins.

And on paper, I am.

There is an awful lot to love about this young team, and going into next year, there is a tremendous amount to build on.

And we'll always have game six.

But ultimately, right now, I guess the reason that I'm really disappointed is that, much like the team itself, I believed in these Bruins. And their post game comments bear out that even if very few others did, they believed in themselves:

(Quotes from the Boston Globe)

Zdeno Chara: "In the end, you feel so empty. We really thought we were going to the next round. We believed we were going to get it done."

Tim Thomas: "I don't think anybody in this locker room thought we'd be done tonight. The belief was there. It was on my part. It was on everybody's part that we would keep this thing going."

Marc Savard: "It's tough because guys battled hard. We really believed as a group that we could go on."

Claude Julien: "I think we all believed we could get to the next round of the playoffs...our expectations were high...and rightfully so."

This team exceeded expectations, battled through injuries, fought down the stretch, and earned their way into the playoffs by refusing to quit, even after losing their top defenseman (Chara) and leading scorer (Savard) for key periods at the end of the season.

Then, in much the same way as Ben described the Devils this season, the playoffs were, for the Bruins, a microcosm of the regular season.

Both the regular season and the playoffs started with virtually no one giving the Bruins a chance, and that was before they faced serious adversity. In the regular season, the prognosticators had them finishing in the basement even before they lost Bergeron and Alberts, and in the playoffs even Bruins boosters like John Buccigross opined that the best the Bruins could possibly hope for was to win a single home game.

After they dropped the first two in Montreal, thanks to an unstoppable opening charge by the Habs (and their fans) in game one, and a referee's whistle in game two, the B's were counted out and in a deep hole.

Then, in both the regular season, and the playoffs, they battled back, played with their hearts, and played their game. And like their heroic effort to fight to the finish and make the playoffs, forcing game seven became a major victory in itself. While forcing a game seven against anybody after being down 3-1 would have been impressive, doing so against the Canadiens got a monkey off their back that they could finally beat a team that had bested them all season. That game six victory was not only the best Bruins game that I've seen in years, but it did wonders for winning back hockey fans in the Hub, reminding the folks who have been content to ride happily along for the winning ways of the Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox that hockey deserves it's place in, and perhaps one day again, atop, the "big four."

So I know- I should be happy.

And I will be again, with some time. Basically, this game, like all game sevens, was a game of inches, and if that first Montreal goal doesn't bounce in off a stick, who knows?

If Murray buries that picture perfect pass from Savard before crashing into the boards and ending his season, (and maybe his career with the Bruins?), who knows?

And, goddamnit, when at the 14 minute mark of the first period, when Chara gambled to chip it in at the blueline, and Kessel made a great play, whirling his body outside the zone, barely keeping the puck inside, and delivering a laser of a pass to Sturm who shot it with Krejci on the doorstep... who knows?

OK- now I'm just pouring salt on the wound.

But, that's the game of hockey, and the Bruins showed a ton of heart, guts and fight this year. Through it all, they were fun to watch. Add to the equation that next year, we'll have a healthy Patrice Bergeron, a ton of talented rookies and the confidence that they can compete in the playoffs.

But allow me to be bummed out for today.

I mean, you know ... I really believed.

Here ya go, hockey fans-

Just go ahead and listen up through the 2:30 mark or so.



Thanks to the Fanhouse and The Sidney Crosby Show for the find.

Puck drops for Game Seven of Bruins/Habs in 30 minutes.

Well, the formerly mighty Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks have been eliminated from the playoffs by the Dallas Stars, and I say good riddance.

At least now Scott Neidermeyer and Teemu Selanne won't have to play any more of those hockey games they seemed to find so inconvenient to show up for during the first 2/3rds of the season.

Oh, and I know I probably shouldn't embed this, but why the hell not?

It's probably better than anything else you'd watch on the internet this morning:



Sorry, Defending Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks, but it's time to leave. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get in a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon you can leave in a minute and a huff.

Don't look now, defending Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks, but there is one hockey team too many in this room, and I think it's you.